Life is not kind. Circumstances are never in your favor. Sometimes it can be overwhelming what this world dishes out. My Mother died a horrific death in November that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I understand that death is part of life and it is going to happen to all of us. I will never understand why she had to die that way. We must move on from a personal tragedy and I have done my pathetic best.
Life is not fair they say and I can attest to that. Three weeks ago my Father had a fall and broke his neck in two places. He was rushed to the emergency room. It was feared he may be paralyzed but fate intervened and although it was a bad fracture they were able to stabilize him, He would be placed in a brace and undergo therapy. That is not the worst part. Apparently, he has been drinking heavily and his BAC was twice the legal limit.
So for a week he had to suffer alcohol withdrawal symptoms from the drinking problem he hid from everyone. Fortunately they kept him in a semi coma so he didn't have to suffer as much. When he was semi lucid it was no picnic. I won't go into all the gory details but he asked me to kill him several times or be kind and sneak him out or give him a knife so he could slit his wrists. I've had several dreams over the years of my Dad being on his death bed and asking me to smother him with a pillow so he didn't have to suffer. Talk about dreams becoming reality.
After two weeks of skilled nursing and therapy my Father was released from the Hospital yesterday. He goes home a broken man. And I am left to wonder how brutal life can be and when the next time will be because I know life never gets better. As Morrissey says in the song "Mountjoy":
"Brendan Behan's laughter rings
For what he had or hadn't done
For he knew then as I know now
That for each and every one of us
We all lose"
