My Ambition was to have ambitions

What is one's life path when born with no special talents or abilities?  In the movie "The Perks of being a Wall Flower"  one of the main characters was nicknamed "Nothing".  That fits me to a T.  I proudly bear the moniker of "Nothing"  because basically that is what I have amounted to.  Am I complaining, whining, crying?  No, just stating a simple fact.

I have always loved music and unfortunately I can't sing.  I have no special musical talents or abilities either.  How do I know this?  When in 4th grade our school music teacher had each of us do a project to determine our abilities.  His name was Mr. Musick, how ironic is that?  I did my presentation and was shot down in flames in front of the entire class.  How embarrassing it was.  I wanted to run and hide under a desk but no, I just stood there and took the snide remarks.  It is quite sad, a grown man getting his jollies putting down a 10 year old boy.  Well that sure ended my hope of ever thinking I could get into music.

Sports was an area that was a possibility.  My Dad was a tremendous athlete.  He was the all time leading scorer at his college in basketball and also drafted by a Major league baseball team.  Well lucky me, none of his genes apparently rubbed off on me.  As Morrissey said "I am the son and the heir of nothing in particular".  I played  sports when I was young and wasn't very good at any of them.  I was awkward, lanky and uncoordinated.
What a disappointment, the son of this sports legend was lousy at sports.  I was supposed to be the next big star.  Of course It was my fault I didn't have any ability.  How do you feel as a 12 year old when you're told you're a sissy or you're worthless cause you cant put a leather ball through an iron hoop.  See my drift?  "Nothing"

So what does one think when they aren't any good at what they would love to be or what they are expected to be?  What ambitions did I then have?  To be an accountant?  a Bank teller?  A Mechanic?  An Engineer?
These are all fine occupations but I don't think people lie awake dreaming of being an accountant or one having a special talent or creativity to be a Bank Teller.  So there in lies the problem, to have ambitions.  When people tell you enough times you are worthless well then you become "Nothing".   How can people be so cruel to a young child because he isn't what they expect?   As life goes drifting by, I ponder these questions, situations and ask why?  There is no real answer but its funny how life turns out, you can let life rule you or you can rule your life.  Unfortunately, I let life rule me and hence "Nothing".

Morrissey - Heinz Hall, Pittsburgh - 1/21/13

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M-2B11J6G0

I had waited for this moment for a long time.  Finally my chance to see Morrissey was here.  It was a cold windy evening in Pittsburgh.  Heinz Hall is quite a beautiful venue and I feel appropriate for an artist of the stature of Moz.  My friend and I walked through the chandeliered lobby up the steps to our seats in the balcony  (and yes I know its hard to believe a loser like me can actually have a friend).  I brought a blue rose for Morrissey but I knew I couldn't get it to him because of our seats so I attached it to my sport coat as a symbol of my support for him and what he stands for.  I was actually nervous and excited at the same time.

The time had arrived and there he was walking on the stage with his fine band for a quick bow.   Standing there was the man I respect and love, ready to begin a concert for his fans in Pittsburgh.  The band took their places and he tore into "Shoplifters of the World".   It was fantastic.  Morrissey's voice was strong and tender at the same time.   Morrissey owns the stage, you cant take your eyes off  him.  He whips that mic cord around with power and feeling.  The entire experience is an epiphany for someone who so loves Moz.  It is one thing to read about concerts and see videos but another to actually see him live.

Some of the other highlights of this enchanting evening was a mesmerizing performance of "November Spawned a Monster".  Moz's new drummer Anthony Burulcich particularly shined on this song with strong percussion.
"Let Me Kiss You" sounded great and saw Morrissey take off his shirt and
toss it into an adoring audience.  I have to say Moz is looking quite fit!  There were several stage invaders who had the pleasure and privilege to give our Moz a hug.  Morrissey was so touching and intimate on "Please, Please, Please", I felt chills up my spine.  "Everyday is Like Sunday"  was spectacular and rousing for me.  I knew about the video on "Meat is Murder".  The song in conjunction with the video was powerful and sent a message that the way we treat our animals is horrid.  I am glad Morrissey does both and I am in complete agreement with him that meat eating is murder.  And the crescendo of the evening was the incomparable encore of "How Soon is Now", my favorite song of all time.

I thank Morrissey for giving me one of the best nights of my life.  I will never forget it.  I hope sometime in the future to see him again and hopefully get closer to the stage.  So all I can say now is BRAVO Morrissey!

Get Well Soon Moz

It has been reported Morrissey has a bleeding ulcer and will have to cancel several tour dates.  Bleeding Ulcers can be quite serious.  So my thoughts and prayers go out to Moz for a speedy and full recovery. 

I just saw Morrissey in concert on January 21 in Pittsburgh.  He was absolutely wonderful.  It was one of the best nights of my life.  Morrissey owns the stage and I am hoping he can get back on tour soon so other fans can enjoy him as I did.

Its hard to be Left Handed

Where do I belong?  Andromeda

I really don't fit here in this world.  I never have.  I have always been odd or the outsider.  A new place would be nice.  This world is dull, dreary and cliched.  Andromeda could be new, exciting and an adventure.  I think I will go there. 

Oh wait, my pea sized brain forgot here in the 21st century there is no way of traveling that far.  Kevin Spacey did it in K-Pax but that was just a movie. 

So what are my alternatives?  I think there are none.  So in the words of Martin Rossiter in the song "Left handed"... On the Isle of Man, I'll serve my time.