Since you're gone.
Sunday evening I was doing my usual routine. Dreading going back to work Monday and aimlessly surfing the Internet. I clicked on twitter and was horrified. I saw a tweet stating Ric Ocasek had died in his New York townhouse. I nervously began searching my timeline (All the while thinking, please don't let this be true.) and it was confirmed by several other tweets from reputable news outlets. I couldn't breathe, my mind raced, a teardrop started forming in each eye. Ric was really gone. A man I had adored since my youth was no longer with us. Memories flooded my mind of good times and bad times. So much of my life had been shaped because I was fortunate enough to find a musician, poet and artist named Ric Ocasek.
I didn't sleep a wink Sunday night. I tossed and turned thinking about how Ric enriched my life and now that special person is just a memory. I, of course, was a nerdy, geek of a teen. Tall, skinny with acne, few friends and no particular purpose in life. I had no musical interest. I just listened to whatever was on the radio. I had a friend I used to visit regularly, I heard his older brother listening to some strange music in his room all of the time. It was different but something drew me to it. I finally got up the nerve to ask him. He told me it's The Cars, Zit Face, now get out of here. My life changed. I was able to get a hold of their albums and began to listen over and over. It was as if a whole new world opened up for me.
The band was led by this tall, lanky, odd looking fellow named Ric Ocasek. I thought he doesn't look like any rock star I have ever seen. Most bands I had thought were led by super alpha males like David Lee Roth, Brian Johnson, Robert Plant etc. Here was this skinny guy who dressed weird and had a warbly vocal delivery that I had never heard anything of the like. I was instantly drawn to him because it gave me hope that as much of a loser that I was, here was someone that made it to the heights of musical stardom and he relished being different.
Besides Ric's looks and presence, the music absolutely stunned me. I had no particular music leanings, just whatever was on the radio. The first time I listened to The Cars first album, the first track was "Good Times Roll", Ric leapt out of the speakers, grabbed me and shook me. I had literally never heard anything like this. Grinding guitars meshed with pulsing synthesizers with a steady backbeat. I was entranced and hijacked for life. The music was mesmerizing. I heard "Moving In Stereo" for the first time, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. It was mystifying, unusual and to this day I get chills when I hear it. I listened repeatedly to all of their albums, The Cars, Candy-O, Panorama, Shake It Up, Heartbeat City. What else does an ugly, skinny kid have to do?
The music of The Cars was enthralling to me. All of their songs were written by Ric. The music was superb and the words that went with the music created a delectable dish I dined on regularly. Many of those songs touched me in my heart and mind like nothing had ever done. They soothed me when I was lonely. They made me laugh. They gave me hope when I was heartbroken. They held my hand when I thought no one cared or knew what it was like to be a geek. There was one person out there who did know, it was Ric. He was a geek when he was young and turned his geekiness into a successful music career. The lyrics were full of satire, sarcasm, irony and metaphor. They have been sort of a cocoon I could always weave my way into, to help explain and get though this nasty world. His lyrics have given me an insight and a way to look at life satirically, sarcastically, with much irony and a little bit of laughter for good measure. Thank you Ric.
Ric Ocasek was more than just the leader and driving force behind The Cars. He produced numerous albums for example, Weezer, Hole, No Doubt, Nada Surf. Bad Brains, Suicide, etc. He was quite the prolific artist. He had done many Art shows in the last several years. He also had a successful solo career, not as well known as The Cars but with some very beautiful songs. He also wrote many books of poetry. He was a creative force. He was a true original. Unique and talented. He said to find music outside of radio. Which I enthusiastically embraced. This led me to many other fine musicians and bands that weren't on pop radio. This led me to Morrissey and The Smiths. I have found only 2 musical artists that I think are true originals. (I'm sure there are others). Ric Ocasek and Morrissey. I love them both dearly. They both have been driving forces in my life. Now Ric is gone. I can't thank him enough for enriching my life with his words and music. I will never forget him and how he soothed that lonely, lanky, nerd. He also gave me the courage to be different and not care what others think. Ric, I will miss you, I love you, there is a little piece of my heart and my soul that is missing, since you're gone.
Ric's sons found this drawing on his arm chair on the Sunday he died. It was his last piece of art for us mere mortals.
