Miss Shirley Bassey

Incomparable Class, Elegance, Grace, Style and Damn it can she SING!!!

And I'm Turning to You to Save Me

Yes, a Morrissey song and lyrics saved my life some years ago.  "How Soon is Now" helped to stop me from doing something stupid and for that I am eternally grateful to Morrissey.  What happened is far too complicated and painful to explain and write about now.  Someday I will.  His songs helped me through many a troubled time.  When I had nobody to talk to and no one who cared.  I could listen to Morrissey and I felt comforted.  There was someone out there who knew what I was going through.  The reason I am writing this is that I saw on True to you a post from Morrissey about seeing Kirk Douglas the other day while on a stroll.  Apparently Douglas is someone Morrissey admires.  He wrote about deciding whether to approach him and in the end he didn't.  This got me to thinking.  What would I do if I saw Morrissey out in public.  Would I approach him or would decide to leave him alone?

I admire Morrissey for many reasons, his music has been the soundtrack of my life.  He and his music are intelligent, he is independent, he has integrity and of course most of all his music did save me.  So the question is what would I do if I saw him?  I honestly don't know.  I am very shy around strangers and basically never talk to anyone I don't know.  Is Morrissey really a stranger?  It seems like I know him through his lyrics.  I believe he is a very complex individual, there is more to him than just his lyrics and stage persona.  So no, I don't really know him.  I have seen clips of him meeting fans, signing autographs and posing for pictures.  He is always very gracious and is very accommodating.  I think it would get old to be constantly bothered by fans and such.  So in that sense my instinct would be to not interrupt him and let him have his privacy.

In my heart though I want to thank him in person for writing such beautiful songs and for basically helping to save my life.  Now how would I approach Morrissey?  I cant imagine just walking up to him and saying "Hi Morrissey".  It seems so tacky for someone of Morrissey's stature.  I was thinking I could memorize a witty Oscar Wilde quote and say Hello with the quote.  Well that would be real unoriginal.  I'm sure Morrissey would think, get me away from this loser.  So that idea is out the window.  How do you approach someone you admire when you feel you cant match up with his intelligence, wit and charm?  How could I tell Morrissey the story of how his song saved my life, what his music has meant to me and thank him in a 1 minute chance encounter on a street?

The answer is I don't think I would approach Morrissey if I saw him.  I admire him beyond what words I could write or say to him.  He has fans bother him all the time and I think he deserves some privacy and to enjoy his stroll without being interrupted.  He knows how much his fans love him and how much his music has affected peoples lives.  I would be disappointed in not meeting him but satisfied I got to see him and know I didn't get in the way of his thoughts and enjoyment of doing what he was doing.  Well this was all hypothetical, its never gonna happen and that's ok.  I still wish I could thank him.  Its something that will always be in the back of my mind, wishing I could meet him but knowing I never will.  Its part of life.  There are a thousand things in life you can have and a million things you can't have.

The Flesh You so Fancifully Fry

Is not succulent, tasty or nice.

Why is it, in the 21st century there is still a need to eat meat?  You would think in this modern culture with all of the inventions, supplements and variations of cuisine there would be no need to kill animals to eat.  Is meat eating so ingrained in our culture that we cannot change to a different diet?  A society should be judged on how we treat those with no voice.  Well then this society is doing a miserable job.  Why does a person with a pet dog think it disgusting to eat dog but more than happy to eat a cow or a pig or a chicken.  They are beautiful animals with a soul too.  Do they deserve to die and then be eaten?  Is that what god intended for these innocent creatures?  Now I can see hundreds of years ago when man was much less civilized and did not have the options that we have today that animal flesh was one of his few options.  In our modern world of 2013, there is no reason or excuse for killing and eating animals.  Vegetarian and vegan cuisine is quite delicious and its very healthy for you too!!

I was once a carnivore and for that I am truly sorry.  Animals did not need to die so I lived.  Meat eating was part of life for me, it was how I was brought up.  I never questioned it.  Some type of meat was always part of dinner or lunch.  It took a lot of thought and reflection to realize there was no need for me to eat meat and it was wrong to do so.  A big part of my decision was the adamant stance of Morrissey for animal rights.  He  has always been an advocate for animals and vegetarianism and I so respect his views.  He sings the song "Meat is Murder" at each of his concerts along with a video showing how animals are slaughtered.  Its a very powerful riveting performance.

In conclusion, I hope our society can move to a culture where people no longer need to eat meat.  A vegetarian diet is not only healthy for you, it is also very tasty.  Unfortunately, I don't see people changing.  Most people are too caught up in their own pathetic lives to think and reflect about how we should treat those with no voice.  Vegetarians and vegans are seen by a lot of people as strange or weird, so most people would never consider going outside the mainstream.  I hope there will be more movement to meat free diets but I don't have much hope of anything changing in the near future.

Good Looking Man About Town

Quite a Handsome Devil

It sounds like Morrissey is on on the mend.  That is great news!  The above photograph was taken of Moz leaving a Soundgarden concert in Los Angeles this week.  He also issued a delightfully worded statement today on True to You saying he was getting better but still needed more IV treatments.  Apparently his bleeding ulcer had left him needing multiple transfusions and is taking its time healing.  I'm just happy he is getting better so that news made today a really good day.  Now as far as Soundgarden, hmmmm yikes, I think Chris Cornell's screeching could give me a bleeding ulcer.  I think I would rather see A Flock of Seagulls.  I think Mike Score performs wearing a baseball cap so I guess he is going bald which is sad cause he used to have his hair made up like Seagull wings.  Sorry but I digress. The main thing is our Moz is healing up and will be back giving joy to his adoring fans very soon.

Sing Me to Sleep

I love to sleep.  It seems to be the only time I am at peace.  No problems, troubles, difficulties or stress.  I'd rather be asleep than be in the real world.  Is that strange?  In the morning when its time to get up for work.  I say no, let me stay in my trance.  I don't want to face reality.  Unfortunately I cant do that.  Sleep is so comforting.  Being unconscious is a blessing for me.  I have no idea what's going on in reality and its perfect.  My own little make believe world.

Funny thing is I don't have many dreams I remember, so that is good.  This past Saturday I had a dream some guy was choking me with his hands around my neck.  I couldn't breathe, it was horrible.  I woke up and my heart was fluttering like a hummingbirds wings. I realized it was only a dream.  I was quite relieved and in a few minutes I was back in a deep slumber.  I have another dream every once and awhile that a burglar is in my house and I am hiding under my covers.  I am petrified and can't move.  I don't know what to do.  Then the light goes on in my room.  What the hell is going on?  Does he know I'm there?  Is he gonna kill me?  Should I get up and fight him?  The situation is reaching a climax.  Then I wake up shaking like a leaf.  Its not real.  I will live to see another day.  No problem, back to sleep in a few minutes.  Even with bad nightmares, I'd still rather be asleep.

A lot of people wish to die in their sleep.  Of course I hope that happens to me someday(not too soon).  It would be so peaceful to leave this existence in serene slumber.  As Morrissey so appropriately wrote in the song "Asleep",  "There is another world. There is a better world. Well, there must be. Well, there must be.".  

I Never Talk to My Neighbor

I'd Rather not get Involved...

Today I went to get the oil changed on my vehicle.  I went into the waiting room to sit and noticed a man sitting there in one of the seats.  He was looking at his phone and didn't acknowledge my presence.  This was fine with me as I'm not the friendliest individual on the planet.  So I sat down and looked at my phone.

Out of the corner of my eye I looked at the guy. His head never moved still staring into his phone.  I thought he must be busy with work stuff or just consumed with what he was doing.  I am uncomfortable around strangers, I guess maybe its self confidence?  shyness?  or maybe I just don't trust people very much.  So I was content to just sit there pretending to be interested in my phone till my oil change was done.

Then the guys phone rang.  Apparently it was a friend of his checking up on him.  I really didn't want to hear his call but there was no choice in the matter.  His friend was worried about him because this poor man's wife just died of cancer.  His daughters were having a rough time in college.  One wanted to quit and come home.  They missed their mother terribly. The daughters could possibly have some kind of gene that their mom had.  The man was having a difficult time organizing the remnants of his life and trying to hold things together for his family.  Inside my mind I felt so bad for this guy, some stranger in an oil change waiting room.  I wanted to say "I'm so sorry for your loss".  Would that be appropriate?  An eavesdropper on his phone call is what I was.  I would have liked to have done something to make him feel better.   But the ineffectual lump that I am, I just sat there staring at my phone pretending not to notice

His car was done, bill paid and out the door.  Another moment in time over, a chance to make someone feel better missed.  Another life situation lived and another person gone from my life I will never see again or know what happened to.  I did say a prayer for the man and his family and hoped his life would get better.

I realized what a difficult life some people have to live but they have to hold things together for the ones they love who are still here.  Has this small situation changed me at all?  Probably not.  If the same thing happened tomorrow. I think that I would do exactly the same thing.  I guess I'm slightly disappointed in myself.  I wish I could be more outgoing and friendly but that's not me and will never be me.  The one who needs care and concern this evening is the poor man that was in that waiting room and I sincerely hope things work out for the best for him and his family.

I Was Born for the Seventh Time

Have you ever been somewhere you have never been and thought "I have been here before".  That happens to me a lot, its weird.  So what happens when you die?  Do you arbitrarily go to hell or heaven depending on what God decides?  Do you cease to exist in both body and soul?  Another possibility is you could be reincarnated.  The problem is you will have to die to find out which of these paths you take.  People who have come close to death or have been dead a few minutes and brought back say they see a bright light and feel comforted.  Is that just your brain in the process of shutting down or is the entrance to another existence.  General George Patton was a firm believer in reincarnation.  In North Africa after he replaced General Lloyd Fruedenthal after the disastrous battle of Kasserine Pass, he wanted to check out the battlefield.  On his way there, he told his driver to turn onto this bumpy path.  The driver said no the battlefield was straight ahead.  They went on this path and here it was an ancient battlefield between the Romans and the Carthaginians.  Patton explained the battle and when asked how he knew it so well he replied "I was here at the battle"

I am not sure if I believe in reincarnation but too many times I am someplace and I feel I was at this place and know it but I don't know how.  I have thoughts and memories of different places, situations but yet I was never there to have those things happen.  Is it coincidence?  Is it my mind playing tricks on me?  I don't know.  I can't figure it out.  Its a puzzle I can't solve, its a riddle I don't understand.  What was I in my prior life?  A dog, man's best friend loyal to my master?  A cat, purring and cozying up with my owner.  Could I have been a woman married to some bastard husband who was cheating on me?  The possibilities are endless.  So why ask why?  Its a feeling I have that there has been more than one journey for me.  Could God have sent my soul back because I wasn't good enough to get into heaven and this is punishment?  Its a possibility. As life goes on, I am going to continue to think and reflect to see if I can come up with some form of coherent answer to this situation.  I hate giving into the fact I will have to die to know what happens to my soul (or lack of one).  There is no truth or evidence I can come up with at this time, so I continue to exist (barely).

There's a place in the Stars

For when you get old.....

I was at a large home for the elderly today for work.  I am just reflecting on my day there.   I can still see the faces.  Some were sad.  Some were lonely.  Some had no expression at all, just sitting there waiting to die. There were a few that were active and seemed ok.  Most just seemed resigned to the fact they were losing their battle with life.  I wanted to reach out and give a lady a hug or touch a man on his arm and say "Hello, how are you?".  But I had to do my work.  I smiled alot but most of the time I tried not to make eye contact because I felt so sad inside for these poor people. I wanted to help them but there was nothing I could do.   These folks are angels and may god bless every one of them.  Most of them have few visitors, basically abandoned by their families.  So they sit there and watch TV or mindlessly stare out the window.  Maybe they dream of the days when they were young.  This is the way they end their lives. To live out your life like this is terrible.  I don't want to end up in some institution like this on my way to death.  The fact is though if you cant care for yourself and have no place else to go, this is where you end up.  It really made me think.  Is this what you have to look forward to?  But instead of worrying about myself, I am feeling compassion for those folks I saw today.  There's no way anyone can stop their aging. I sure wish god could give those folks some comfort in their last years, months, days.  Ease their pains, give some small joys and a little bit of happiness, they certainly deserve it.

Je pense a toi Morrissey

Two more concerts have been cancelled on Morrissey's USA tour on 2/9 and 2/10 due to doctors orders.  A statement by Morrissey on TTY said he is suffering from a concussion, bleeding ulcer and Barrett's Esophagus.  I have been so worried over our Moz's health since I heard what his afflictions were.  Bleeding ulcers are very serious and must be treated with utmost care.  I know a concussion takes some time but should heal up on its own.  I had never heard of Barrett's esophagus but it apparently is a complication of GERD and the lining of the esophagus becomes inflamed.  I imagine Morrissey was suffering quite a bit and it makes me sad he had to go through all that pain and discomfort.  My hope and prayer is that he will get treated and feel much better.  I just hate when someone has to suffer with physical afflictions.   All of his fans are thinking of him and praying for his speedy and full recovery.  I see all the twitter posts from the wonderful folks in The Blue Rose Society reflecting their concern and hope that all will turn out for the best.  For me, not really knowing anything is the worst.  Its terrible when someone you care about is ailing and you can't do anything to help.  I'm not the most religious person but I am praying.

Because Morrissey is such a unique and special individual, he brings out passions in his fans.  His music and lyrics have meant so much to people and have affected so many lives.  I know they have in mine. Every fan has special stories of what certain Morrissey songs have meant and how they have  been a part of their life.  Also, how his songs have changed their lives.  These are the reasons we all care so much for this man.

Morrissey,  I am thinking of of you, The Blue Rose Society is thinking of you, we are all thinking of you.  Praying for your good health and full recovery.  When you feel better you can get back to where you belong, ruling the stage and singing your wonderful songs to your adoring fans.  GET WELL SOON MOZ!

When a Problem Comes Along, you must...

WHIP IT!!!!!

Life seems to have so many roadblocks, palisades and barricades.  Why does it seem everyday is a fight?
The noise of life, it never stops.  Can't things ever be easy?  Some people seem to have lives that no matter what they do, things always fall into place for them.  Others seem to have no luck and nothing goes right.  So why is this?  Are some people blessed with good fortune, while others don't ever catch a break?  The other thing is when things seem to being going well, then of course problems always pop up.  Life has so many twists and turns.  It is good to have some struggles because it teaches you lessons in life.  It gets ridiculous when no matter what you do there has to be a struggle.  It wears you down and makes you weary.  And when bad things happen all the time, its seems you're always waiting for another problem to happen.  That's no way to live your life.  Maybe attitude has something to do with it?  Some people don't let problems get them down while others can't handle difficulties.

I am slightly envious of those who never seem to have a problem and sail through life with nothing but good luck.  I am very proud of those who have various issues in their lives and continue on with strength and grace.  People who have serious health issues but continue to fight them and live a strong and wonderful life are hero's.  Good health is a blessing and anyone who doesn't have good health knows it.  So when a problem comes up for me, I need to think of those who have way worse problems such a life threatening health problems.  I need to say to myself yes you have problems but they can certainly be much worse.
Everyday is a fight but we have to keep our heads up and not give in.  So problem solvers of the world I salute you.