Round, Round Rhythm Of Life Goes Round

 Yesterday we finally buried my Mother. She died on Wednesday November Ninth. The burial took more than two weeks because she is interred at a Military cemetery as my Dad is a veteran. It took all that time because of bureaucracy and paperwork. 

The shock of her death has somewhat worn off but the hole in my heart and soul still aches at her loss. We just had a small family ceremony. Each of us could say something if we chose. I would rather have had that than some Priest who didn't know her preach some meaningless platitudes. I read a poem called  "A Dirge" by Percy Bysshe Shelley.

Rough wind, that moanest loud

Grief too sad for song;

Wild wind, when sullen cloud

Knells all the night long;

Sad storm whose tears are vain

Bare woods, whose branches strain,

Deep caves and dreary main, --

Wail, for the world's wrong!

My Mom was cremated, so I had no idea what to expect for her remains. I was totally surprised when I saw this little box. It was like, that's not my Mother. It's just some box full of ashes. The spirit and soul that was my Mother left as I was holding her hand on November ninth when she died. I am still haunted and troubled by that moment. The suffering my Mom had to go through because of the idiots at that Hospital. And I'm mad at God, who let one of his dearest servants go through that hell in her hour of death. If anyone on this earth's death should have been peaceful, it should have been my lovely Mother, who wouldn't hurt a fly. Life surely is a pigsty.

I put a bouquet of flowers on her grave, said my goodbyes and it was over. At this point, seeing my family so stricken with grief upset me almost as much as losing Mom. On my drive home, I kept thinking about how small her box of ashes was. You live a full life and it all comes down to this small box.

Take a deep breath and swallow

Your sorrow

Tomorrow

We Care A Lot

 I just saw the news that Morrissey cancelled his concert last night part way through the show. There is no definitive answer at this time why he decided to stop the show. It was an outdoor venue and it was a chilly evening. If it was a throat issue and Our Moz made the decision to cancel, I completely understand. His voice is his life, he must protect it at all costs. I hope it was nothing more serious than that and hope and pray for a full and quick recovery.

I can sympathize. I am under the weather also. I have some kind of sinus infection. Having just lost my Mother. I believe I got worn down from two weeks of hospital visits after work, very little sleep, stress and worry.

I'm hoping we get an update on Our Moz soon and it's good news. Sending all of my best thoughts his way.

November 22 Update:

The Salt Lake City and Denver dates have been cancelled due to an illness in the band. The tour is expected to resume this Friday in Minneapolis. Here's hoping that all who are ill, get well soon and things are good to go for Friday. As always sending our best thoughts and wishes to Our Moz and band.

We really do care a lot.

*******   12/1/22 Update

I just finished watching Our Moz at The Kings Theater in Brooklyn on YouTube. It was a marvelous show. Our Moz and band sounded fantastic. I'm glad to see they are back on the road looking healthy and happy.

Earth Is The Loneliest Planet

My lovely Mother, Leann, passed away last evening. She was truly an angel in a world full of snakes. She always cared about other people above herself. She worried about everyone else's problems above her own, many times to her own detriment. The world is a much dimmer place today because a shining light has been extinguished.

Two weeks ago she fell at night, getting out of bed at night and hit her head on a table. She was rushed to the hospital. They said she had bleeding on her brain. After several days in the ICU she seemed to get better. Then out of nowhere she got some kind of lung infection or pneumonia. This became a major concern because she was having trouble breathing. They put her on oxygen and antibiotics. She seemed to rally after a couple days and got back to her old self.  Suddenly on Sunday she took a turn for the worse and continued to go downhill.

That leads us to yesterday. I got a call from my sister that Mom was in bad shape and they were going to put her on "comfort" measures because she was no longer responding to treatments, I rushed to the Hospital and met several of my family members. The so called "comfort" measures were brutal. I wouldn't wish those on my worst enemy. They put a dog to sleep or lethally inject a murderer with more compassion than how they treated my Mother. They turned her oxygen off, gave her some morphine and some relaxent. She was partially conscious and was struggling to breath. She was basically drowning because of all the fluid in her lungs. She was groaning and in pain, my sister screamed at the nurse to help her and they finally gave her more morphine until she relaxed and then slipped into unconsciousness and finally died. Twenty minutes of living hell for this wonderful lady that didn't have to be.

I am reminded of two years ago when Morrissey's Mom died. I empathized with him about her death. Now I know how he truly felt. I've lost the one person on this earth that loved me unconditionally. Now, for me, Earth really is the loneliest planet..