The widely anticipated Sumarongi College Board of Regents took place. It was an emergency meeting called because Scholar Emeritus "Ye Olde Farte" was attempting to force the School of Fine Arts Fall Musical to be a production based on the songs of the singer Taco. The Drama Department head Pantz A, DeLeon was vehemently against this as she had decided to do a review of the music of Patty Smyth. Her and the Chairman of the School of Fine Arts, Foodwin P. Elegante went to Sumarongi Chancellor John to ask that a Board of Regents meeting be called to discuss the matter. When they went in to Chancellor John's office he didn't know who the hell they were because of his worsening case of Alzheimer's. They then went to the real power at Sumarongi, Dean James and he agreed to call a meeting.
Meeting Attendees
Chancellor John, Dean James, Scholar in Residence: Culpepper Pemplefelt, Scholar Emeritus: "Ye Olde Farte", School of Fine Arts Chairman: Dr. Foodwin P. Elegante, Drama Department Head: Pantz A. Deleon, Computer Science Department Head: Dr. Cobol D. Clodpate, Science Department Head: Dr. Mortimer A. Magpie, School of Business Chairman: Paul Bunion, The Alumni Honorarium: Baroness Von Vegalilly of Luxembourg and Chief of Security: Zell U. Light.
Scholar Emeritus: "Ye Olde Farte". Despite his title, "Ye Olde Farte" wields a great amount of power at Sumarongi. The honor of being called "Ye Olde Farte" is passed down to each Scholar Emeritus. No one really knows what his real name is. Rumor has it, it is John but no one would dare call him John or be prepared to endure his incredible wrath. His most important contribution to academia is "The Three T's" Theory. Time, Taco and Tabasco. His lifelong research has been the assertion that there is no such thing as time. He has written many papers and done many tests to prove his theory that time does not exist. Time is just something some stupid idiot developed. The other T's are Tabasco and Taco. He also has done a life's worth of research on his assertion that Tabasco sauce is the elixir of life. Once again he has written many papers that prove his theory on why Tabasco sauce is essential to human existence. The last T is Taco. He feels that the singer Taco is the most underrated genius in music history and has been a champion to put Taco in his proper place amount the greats of music such as Mozart, Bach, Sinatra, Pavarotti, Stravinsky.
School of Fine Arts Chairman: Dr. Foodwin P. Elegante
Drama Department Head: Pantz A. DeLeon
Dr. Elegante and Pantz A. DeLeon are the true power couple at Sumarongi. They are married and rule all things in the Fine Arts with an iron fist. Dr. Elegante is a world renowned expert on the films of internationally famous director, Federico Fabrizi. He is always immaculately dressed and casual attire to him is a three piece suit. Pantz A. DeLeon is known for the attractive pants suits she wears around campus. She reportedly was married to Foodwin in a white pants suit. Rumor also has it they do not sleep in the same bed and neither has ever seen each other naked. They believe their children were conceived by test tube. It is said no one has ever seen Pantz A. DeLeon's legs ever.
Computer Science Department Head: Dr. Cobol D. Clodpate
Chief of Security: Zell U. Light
The meeting started quite rambunctiously with heated disputes between "Ye Olde Farte" and Foodwin P. Elegante. Foodwin said that no one was going to force their will on the School of Fine Arts. At one point Security Chief Zell U. Light had to step in and separate the two or fists were going to fly. Culpepper Pemplefelt and Dean James then came up with a brilliant plan and compromise which would satisfy both parties. They decided the fall musical would be a musical review of famous one named singers, Each attendee would submit one nominee and a special blue ribbon committee would choose six of the singers for the final musical. Then each person could submit several songs by each artist and the committee would select two numbers for each of the artists for the musical. The final vote was 11-0 in favor of the plan and disaster was averted.
The following were the artists nominated by each attendee:
Chancellor John: He didn't nominate anyone because he had no idea what they were talking about.
Dean James: Dion
Culpepper Pemplefelt: Morrissey, and he picked 2 songs he felt were culturally significant: "Tony The Pony" and "Dagenham Dave".
"Ye Olde Farte": Taco
Dr. Foodwin P. Elegante: Fabian
Pantz A. DeLeon: Martika
Dr, Cobol D. Clodpate: Lulu
Paul Bunion: Cher
Dr. Mortimer A. Magpie: Pink
Baroness Von Vegalilly: Basia
Zell U. Light: Beyonce
