My Ambition was to have ambitions

What is one's life path when born with no special talents or abilities?  In the movie "The Perks of being a Wall Flower"  one of the main characters was nicknamed "Nothing".  That fits me to a T.  I proudly bear the moniker of "Nothing"  because basically that is what I have amounted to.  Am I complaining, whining, crying?  No, just stating a simple fact.

I have always loved music and unfortunately I can't sing.  I have no special musical talents or abilities either.  How do I know this?  When in 4th grade our school music teacher had each of us do a project to determine our abilities.  His name was Mr. Musick, how ironic is that?  I did my presentation and was shot down in flames in front of the entire class.  How embarrassing it was.  I wanted to run and hide under a desk but no, I just stood there and took the snide remarks.  It is quite sad, a grown man getting his jollies putting down a 10 year old boy.  Well that sure ended my hope of ever thinking I could get into music.

Sports was an area that was a possibility.  My Dad was a tremendous athlete.  He was the all time leading scorer at his college in basketball and also drafted by a Major league baseball team.  Well lucky me, none of his genes apparently rubbed off on me.  As Morrissey said "I am the son and the heir of nothing in particular".  I played  sports when I was young and wasn't very good at any of them.  I was awkward, lanky and uncoordinated.
What a disappointment, the son of this sports legend was lousy at sports.  I was supposed to be the next big star.  Of course It was my fault I didn't have any ability.  How do you feel as a 12 year old when you're told you're a sissy or you're worthless cause you cant put a leather ball through an iron hoop.  See my drift?  "Nothing"

So what does one think when they aren't any good at what they would love to be or what they are expected to be?  What ambitions did I then have?  To be an accountant?  a Bank teller?  A Mechanic?  An Engineer?
These are all fine occupations but I don't think people lie awake dreaming of being an accountant or one having a special talent or creativity to be a Bank Teller.  So there in lies the problem, to have ambitions.  When people tell you enough times you are worthless well then you become "Nothing".   How can people be so cruel to a young child because he isn't what they expect?   As life goes drifting by, I ponder these questions, situations and ask why?  There is no real answer but its funny how life turns out, you can let life rule you or you can rule your life.  Unfortunately, I let life rule me and hence "Nothing".